ABOUT ME

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

twirls and whirls

i wonder if i was ever or will i ever be afraid of being alone in a country so foreign to me. it just occurred to me that i hardly ever leave the country, even for just a short visit to else where. i've been stucked here for so long, by choice or not, i hardly know what its like to be far from home. i tried to recall the times when i went for holidays. KL(JC Year 2), Hong Kong(JC Year 1), KL(Sec 2), Mauritius(Pri 5), once to Gold Coast, cant remember when though, and the list goes on. not a very appealing one right? i can use my 10 fingers to count the number of trips i've been to. my passport's seriously close to being blank.

a currently pending application for a double degree, trying to figure a way to cut cost, which is close to impossible i heard, finding my way around a place i've never stepped my foot onto. making new friends, something i really hate, which doesnt seem so. 6-7 years away from home doesnt sound like a short stay to me at all. and looking back, i dont think i ever really felt good during my holidays abroad. probably cause it was the wrong time of the year, or it was just me being emo and all.

how am i going to survive? am i ever gonna come back? some random questions that came along while i was thinking about all these. to digress before i forget to mention, wei received her rejection letter from SMU and this was a sentence from her text 'it was only a matter of time.' it isnt it always so? why is it so goddamn hard to try to survive here? will it be easier out there? maybe not.

this thought hit me the most,
what's gonna keep me alive?


those choppy waters

remember how you used to say
i'd be the one to run away
but i'm still here




fills and spills

baring my soul
at 1:23 AM