ABOUT ME

Thursday, May 04, 2006

we all self conscious

it feels so damn good after 'downloading'. dinner was P E R F E C T. pays off the hardwork i've put in for today's workout. sushi tei. is it heaven or what?! dinner was late, but its worth all the waiting. i'm surprised, i ate more than my old man, and my ma was so shocked.

i have a very bad feeling that my legs are gonna be so sore tomorrow. endurance was quite tough today. partially cause i had to follow yunlu's pace, which, hmmm, kinda made things alittle difficult. i cannot to dips for nuts! my arms are so weak! damn. still, i'm quite happy with my performance today. at least i survived and did relatively well. to add on to that, that little note from debbie really made all the tiredness go away. that sweet sweet thing. i am so touched.

i really feel like a bum now. after we met an old friend in the restaurant, catching up alittle, updating each other about live. and of course, we reached to the topic which i really hate the most. 'so what are you doing now? where are you schooling?' it carries on, and you know eventually what it'll lead to. i felt so embarrassed, i wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide there forever. i was expecting my mum to shun away from that question and digress. my dad actually told him what i was doing! not only that, he sounded like a proud father of a daughter with straight As, who already secured a place in the law fac. i felt so damn bad. it then came to me that dad always had high expectations of me, just that he never mentions. he always had 100% confidence and faith in me that i will somehow do well. why didnt i? i do i have to screw up at the last lap? i'm so fucked up. i'm sorry dad, im not perfect afterall.

i kinda love thursdays, cause they're days i can jump into bed and i'll be off to dreamland in less than 5 mins. fatigue is actually good, for me that is. at least for one day a week, i dont have to toss and turn just trying to fall asleep.

so many good movies coming up, i just wanna watch them all! too bad i'm currently undergoing financial crisis. so there goes the luxury of movie marathon-ing.

money makes the world go round.


this time i want you to love me much more.



i'm just the first to admit it

baring my soul
at 11:30 PM