ABOUT ME

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

you call me up and say you need it

i'm sitting right in front of the com(duh!), listening to my bro rant to his eight-year girlfriend(who the hell gets attached for eight years?!) about politics and commenting about the pre-rally stuff thats going around. and typing this nonsense. not forgetting, popping Ferrero Rochers into my mouth as if they're free. does these make sense at all?

tau huay is the best remedy of aching bones and swelling joints after trainings. hopefully my thighs wont be as soft as tay huay. more endurance tomorrow. i miss training under mr tang. miss training with nette, sha, ali, daniel, rahman, izzie, zaid, shingo, yasin and cheryl-ann. i miss the way we warmup, do drills. our sets, 300m-s(i know i'm crazy), 110kg weights during gym. and hitching a ride from mr tang back, where he'll going on and on about his entire life story. with him booming into my ears. why didn i continue training with them? i really dont know why. pardon me, i started thinking about all these on the way home.

i'm really clueless about what i'm feeling now. am i upset? not really. am i tired? why should i be? am i angry? i dont think so. am i heartbroken? whats the meaning of that word? i think i feel very empty now, without a reason. i know i'm crazy, i think i am.

sometimes i wonder whether i've only taken one wrong step in my to make it screw up so badly now. or were my steps never the right ones? am i to be blamed, or is it someone else? should i carry on with what i've set on doing, or should i reconsider my options, not that i have many.

i suddenly feel like starting school straight away. i wanna fly to aussie now and never come back. i wanna keep myself busy, i wanna study. okay i think i should stop here. i'm getting cranky.


to you, to me, to no one else


then you wave your hand and say 'leave it'

baring my soul
at 11:07 PM