ABOUT ME

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

forget what we're told

i dont know if this is the right thing to do, but i've been planning quite alot of stuff to do before school starts of me. too many unnecessary things but yet i think if i dont, i may regret. i had too much of regrets these few years, enough of it. fuck whatever happens after that, at least i get it done, get the big stone that has been living within me for so long outta my chest. i wont be able to get any replies from anyone, cause i think i'm gonna change my email add all. not sure if my line will still be in use, probably dad will cancel it or something.

i've been thinking alot about 'my future' and stuff. i dont know what will i be like ten years from now. will i be doing something i really love, or will i be like always, doing things i'm expected to. its damn tiring trying to keep up to people's expectations of me. then what are my expectations of myself? is it based according to that of others, or its it truely my own? i havent been able to answer these questions and its killing me. what do you think? am i up to your expectation? or shall i rephrase my question, was i up to your expectation then? i guess not.

its so difficult to carry on feeling the way i am now. yet its so impossible to erase it all away. 'time will erase everything away', this is such a big lie. if i could sketch you out the other way around, would it change the way everything is now? i'm passive, so god damned passive. my god, shut up daphne.


i don't quite know how to say how i feel
those three words are said too much
they're not enough



before we get too old

baring my soul
at 1:39 AM