ABOUT ME

Sunday, September 24, 2006

you turn every head

this silence is so deafening, and its driving me crazy instead. no matter how much i try to talk senses into myself, it seems that my inner mind's getting the best out of me. and it doesnt make any sense to me at all, why i'm feeling this way.

it has finally sunk into me, how much time i've wasted, and i think i should just stop this. it is pointless and senseless. i need to start getting my ass down to solid work, like it or not. i'm only left with 5 more study weeks, 1-2 weeks of study break and there you go, my final exams. my goodness daphne, what on earth do you think you're thinking about?!

there is a great sense of acheivement, yet saddening to go shopping for your father's present, paying it yourself, with no one to split the cost with and to have to send it back? never in my life have i bought my dad's present one and a half weeks before his birthday. thats the huge price to pay for keeping away from the constant arguements over the splitting of cost with your brother, and even more so, who is to get the present. i miss birthday dinners all of the sudden. no sense of dread at all if i have to attend one now. this is what you get when you're a thousand miles away from home? to realise that everything's gonna have to be totally opposite from what it is back home. darn, i think i need to start telling myself that this is my home now. and for the first time, i'm feeling extremely loved, yet upset at the same time.

its tatty-teddy's third birthday today. should i rejoice from him, or mourn.

i'm hungry for Your love and touch.


i've been watching your world from a far


but you dont see me

baring my soul
at 11:38 PM