ABOUT ME

Friday, May 25, 2007

not many people

i think everyone deserves to be in love. but i dont think that this applies to me. how contradicting can i get. i guess everyone is like that now, in a way. contradictions are a part of life, and it exemplifies the way life is so clearly, its scary.

have you really felt how it is like to be in love and in pain at the same time? sounds so impossible, but i can see that with my own eyes now. how one can enjoy all the comforts and tenderness of a new budded love, but yet, at the same time, be drowning in sorrows everytime you're left alone. one may say that such people ask for it, but i think otherwise. i think that it is a wise but risky choice to put yourself through all that anxiety and guilt. cause only then, will you realize what you have been really desiring for, for that kind of love that will never make your heart stop beating, but seizes motion everytime you think of that one particular person. you live for that person, and all you breathe is that person's name. at this moment, you will also realise that you've once, for such a long time, loved wrongly. sad but true, its better to know it late than never at all.

recently, many images and feelings from the past gushed into me, relentlessly like a tidal wave. the nostalgia soothes my soul, yet makes me feel as if my whole world has come to an end, and that i'm the only one left alive. i think the most painful process is not experiencing lonliness, but the process of trying so hard not to feel so empty inside. it is only then, will you realise how lonely you actually are and feel.

it is okay to love someone who ever existed, cause then, that isnt love, for love, only exists between two people. and it is alright to weep over something that has long been gone, cause the hurt would have disappeared.


paint my love


can get through this stupid pride

baring my soul
at 3:01 AM