Friday, June 08, 2007
i still dont have a reason
after fighting to keep myself sobber, drowning myself with hours of information to equip myself for the exam, i finally managed to drag my heavy body back up to my room. what welcomed me back was a close friend saying, "as of yesterday morning, i started the day off with a broken heart." she said it with a laugh, and said it in a matter-of-fact manner. she expressed her sorrows with such positivity, it stuns me. how envious i am of her strength and her approach to it. yet it makes me wonder, if it is just that the fact has yet to sink in to her, or is she already aware of the fact that a bond that she has shared with that special someone for two years, has gone down the drain. nonetheless, to that courage, i salute you, my dear friend.
tonight, i've had totally new views of certain things that i had been so persistent on. tonight, i grew stronger, tonight, i feel like i've finally gain the freedom that should have been there all along. at least i would like to think so.
the promises that we've once made, to always be there for one another, and to never leave each other's sides had never once been fulfilled. those werent empty promises, it was just over-confidence. it wasnt that we never meant it, the promises were just not meant to be kept. so why should we be moaning over it? it doesnt hurt that much, does its?
sometimes, we hold on to certain things till we realise that they are no longer there. that is when we start to crumble, and we feel as if the world is starting to fall on us gradually. i still find it hard to describe that kind of feeling, that abstract feeling, that feeling that slowly kills me inside. it is the things that you hold onto dearest, that are the first to leave you. as what many have always been questioning, "why do all good things come to an end?" cause we will always notice the pain and the hurt, but we tend to forget those little, precious moments that once made us so happy, which may probably never happen again.
the little mighty mouse will be back again.
for once, never before, nothing else really matters anymore.
and you dont have the time
baring my soul
at 5:53 AM