ABOUT ME

Friday, July 27, 2007

while you're looking up at me

the stars here give me a very strange yet soothing feeling, something i cant quite describe in precision. they seem so close to you, it is as if you are only a touch away from them. ironically, the closer the stars here are, the further i seem to be from home. star gazing can be so paradoxical, it can bring a smile to my face, yet wrench my heart out at the same time.

this time round, every where around me seems so quiet and mundane. i dont hear the constant laughter from across the asile i thought i would, and there arent sounds of trampling footsteps as if the level is going to topple. such scene really blends in with the dampening weather. it doesnt sound like a very promising start, does it?

i think i'm stuck in a mess i've created. i have no idea why it ended up the way it is now, but it feels as if i've lost a part of my life and it feels as if part of my flesh has been ripped out. but honestly, the feeling inside is worse than that. i dont know how to tell you how important you are to me, and that the last thing i want to have is to lose you. yet, the more i i'm afraid of it, the more i run away from it and of course, the further you seem to be. if its the one thing i'll lose you to, it'll be my fear of losing you. and i think i already did.

i was young and naive, i watched helpless as you turn around to leave, and still i have the pain i have to carry. a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried. after all this time, i never thought we would be here. when my love for you was blind, but i couldnt make you see it. couldnt make you see that i loved you more than you will ever know. and a part of me died when i let you go. i would fall asleep, only in hopes of dreaming that everything would be like it was before. but nights like this, it seems, are slowly fleeting. they leave as reality is crashing to the floor.


she might be going home with me tonight


you're like my favourite damn disease

baring my soul
at 2:21 AM