ABOUT ME

Saturday, August 11, 2007

i'm sure i'm not being rude

i have no idea what am i doing, up at such an ungodly hour. as i looked out of the window, i wonder who else is as insane as me. i really wonder. it is not as if i've anything better to do than sleeping, yet i'm not going to bed, for god knows what reason.

sometimes, i find it so amusing, how certain things can take control of someone's life, making you go round and round in circles, and end up still stuck at the same spot. i've once again stumbled onto something which really gets me thinking, how ridiculous some people can really get. how can someone be so sure and so unsure about the same thing at the same time. it doesnt make sense, does it? it is exactly the way this person feels. its so impossible. i wonder how can love actually take the toll of someone. how can it drive people to do things so out of control, so unbelievable. and yet you gain and lose this love so quickly. if something that has such a short lifespan, can we still consider it true? something that can never last, be desirable? probably thats why we all make mistakes.

there are so much more to live than love. thats a perfect piece of speech i presented to my parents, making them feel so proud of having me as a daughter for that moment. i swear, at that split second that i said that, i really meant it from the bottom of my heart. but please, who are we trying to kid? ourselves? or trying to convince others to think likewise? how can we belittle the only thing that holds different individuals so tightly? if i ever really for a longer period of time thought that love was so insignificant in life, i'd probably be better off, at least i allow myself to be convinced so.

i believe that love can exist in that very second in life. its either you get it into you, or you just lose it without even realising it. just like how i believe that our lives are in our own hands, love, too, works this way. but its a tad trickier, cause if you hold it too tight, it breaks free. if you hold it too casually, it slips away without your knowledge. thats why sometimes i wonder, did i hold it too tightly, or have i never really realised how it slipped away.

tonight, the stars will shine for you. maybe it will calm you down, and bring you home.

but its just your attitude

baring my soul
at 5:22 AM