ABOUT ME

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

i'm falling under your spell

when we slowly lose ourselves, we feel the sudden burst of freedom first, before every thing just comes crashing in. its that irony of experience which entices people, that draws people to come to a point where they want to constantly experience this kind of feeling- you get brought up to the highest point, and then being let down. but when the fall comes to a halt, what will happen from there? you either stand up on your two feet and get going, or you'll remain lying on the ground for a very long time.

i believe its when you've fought so hard to make something work out again, you will have to fight even harder to let everything come to an end. thats exactly how it is now, me, fighting even harder than i had, just to come to terms with it, and myself. this is where i truly realised how i've been lying to others, including myself. self-deception can come into place so easily and we can get so comfortable with it, we lose control of what is real and what isnt, we lose control of ourselves.

i think that it was because i loved you, that was why i couldnt let you go, together with everything that we had and never did. but now, i love you even more, to understand that letting you go is the best of all choices that i have ever made. not because i had enough of being alone, but i only want and hope the best for you. and if its not going to be me, i hope someone else can do a better job. so now, i will only love you as a good friend, and i will love you enough, to still want to hold the world up for you. now, and always.

tonight, we soak in the love that we never had. get drunk, and wake up to a better tomorrow.

angels came crashing in


cant seem to slow down

baring my soul
at 3:36 PM