ABOUT ME
Friday, January 11, 2008
its a beautiful day
there is a strong surge of disappointment within me, that presses me to type this entry. yet this exact same feeling has left me loss for words. i wonder to myself, how can two people who have once shared the same bed, with one feeling the breath of the other down her neck, those fingers which once wrapped around each other, now can no longer look each other into the eye. its worse than being strangers. cause even strangers wont feign pretense, they just dont know of each other's presence. so now, can i wish for that too? that we have never met. but would it make me feel any better. maybe acknowledgment at this point in time would bring about an extremely awkward situation, but why would it still matter that much?
when three people are caught in frenzy, someone would just have to leave so that things wouldnt get out of hand. i'm not trying to be magnanimous, i'm not that self-less. but its only logical to. what would i get out of being persistent? the agony of three people? sometimes i wonder what i get myself into. cause at the end of the day, even if i'm able to walk out of this chivalrously, i would still be the one that has caused all the drama to the other party's friends. and to my own friends, i would be once again living up to my entitlement of being frivolous.
i get very random thought these days. thanks to Rihanna's "together we'll mend your broken heart" got me thinking real hard for the night. if a heart could really be mend, then why do we loose them? doesnt really make a lot of sense, does it? and if we could really mend a heart, i wouldnt mind mending it over and over again, till the stitches overlap, cause it beats not having one.
note to self: never ever get into other people's shit. be the one who causes it instead. at least you can walk away unharmed.
if i could tell you, for one last time, that you still mean the world to me
down the back alley, we save all we can for tomorrow
in this city of shining lights
baring my soul
at 3:46 PM