ABOUT ME

Friday, January 04, 2008

only if you knew

we always try to make ourselves feel a little happier each day, till it comes to a point in time, we just get so tired of trying. who the hell are we trying to kid? just because we dont have the guts to face up to the fact that we are the most pathetic souls alive. or is it that we dont believe that such predicament will befall on us when people around us are bliss? why do such things always fall on us? what have we done to deserve such things? then we lose sight of those who really care for us, and we think that it is only a facade. cause truly, we are the only ones who can make ourselves smile from within, for the very fact that we are the ones who make ourselves cry.

i shall dedicate this entry to you, since i know, you're someone that i will never cross paths with. never again. that wasnt fate, it was just a coincidence. despite that, i still thank you for everything that you've done, and never intended to. life was brought to another level because of your presence. a very short-lived 3 week presence, but an impact for a lifetime.

it was initially enticing, but eventually dreading. the fault doesnt lie in anyone cause there was no fault to even begin with. nobody paid attention to the things going around us, we just take it for granted. we let the very thing that holds people together, just slip us by. life is in our hands, we either make it, or break it. and i think i, with my own bare hands, broke it. mishandled, mistreated, shameless, silence, shelving, selfish. all in the name of seeking for happiness. if you cant find it off this person, jump onto the next. girls are like monkeys, before they find a firmer branch, they cling onto another first. very logical, very practical.

we love, we live. we take then we give. sometimes we find ourselves giving more than taking. hardly the other way around. that is why we always feel that we can never give enough, cause it just isnt enough. not enough to hold onto the ones we love. you couldnt, so did i. we both are at the same terminal, just waiting to hop onto different planes. that was why we missed each other, we just walk straight pass each other. we are not each other's destination. i am always someone else's interchange. someone comes in and seek shelter, and when their bus comes, they board it, then leave without looking back. where do i go from there? i go no where, cause i'm always around. the buses, the people leave, but the interchange stays for good.

you have a lot ahead of you in life. just that you have yet to realise it, and you have not considered it. so i hope, one day, you'll make it. you will have the life you want, and i dont have to be the one who buys you the house you want to live in, but i'll still be the one who listens.

i'm neither intriguing nor special. i'm probably just a little different from the people you know. but then again, how different can i be? i'm only human, am i? just like you do, we all hope for a better tomorrow, where the sun will always shine for us. so remember, you will never know how much the sun needs you. what you feel is what you are, and what you are, is beautiful.

dance dance in the morning light, open your darkened eyes. hey hey its a beautiful day, will be okay, it will be okay. take a look, spin around, this is where i find you, where the roses bloom. leave your cares, leave your fears, leave them all behind you. its a beautiful day in a city of shining lights. its a beautiful day, this is where i find you. in your midnight eyes, i see a summer sunrise

your life is an astonishing maze


just how much the sun needs you

baring my soul
at 3:44 PM